Thoughts from Amy Schrempf on Chubby Mysore.
I have heard that some of you are nervous to come back to the Mysore room because you have gained some weight. I want to openly share something I experienced, which changed my view point on it.
Some of you may know that in November of 2019, Laurie Ireland, Lori Brant and I all traveled to Miami to practice with Tim Feldmann. Leading up to that week, and in that week, I was binding Mari D no problem, and getting into supta kurmasana with some minor assistance. Pasasana was within reach!
Those gatekeeper poses have always been hell for me for many reasons. First, I have hypermobility issues which cause overuse and pain. Second, I dislocated my left shoulder 15 years ago, and never rehabbed it.
Third, I’m chubby. Yes, I said that. I’m chubby. That’s what my new smart scale told me the other day. (And no, I didn’t throw it out the window). I have always been a little chubby. I was chubby pre-pandemic.
Even so, my practice was progressing. Then life rudely inserted itself. I sold my South Side house in 2019, moved into a temporary town house right before I went to Miami. My grandfather got very sick, and I became his caretaker the day after I adopted a new doggie (just ask me about my loveable tri-pawd Saturn!). My grandfather died in January of 2020, and all the responsibility of administering his estate fell to me. It was a lot. Then the pandemic. With the pandemic I became intimately acquainted with GrubHub. I renovated the house in Bloomfield and moved again. A month after the move, I accepted a new job. My little donut “drive for less than 50 miles” spare tire became a full-sized spare. Today, I can’t catch a bind for anything.
In March of 2020, Tim did his first online Mysore week. I immediately jumped at the chance to practice with him. By mid-week, I was discouraged, and I reached out to him in a private email. Basically, I questioned my place in my practice. My supta kurmasana had all but fell apart and my Mari D bind had left town. Not only that, my Mari C bind was tough on some days. I asked him if he thought I was in an appropriate place (for those of you who care, I am stopped at Bekasana – partially due to my bad SI joint).
As expected, in the next day’s class, Tim made me do the gatekeeper poses multiple times. After I finished about my 6th try at Pasasana, he wanted to talk to me. Please keep in mind, this is over Zoom. Every single person in that class’ speakers were on. This conversation happened in front of the entire room.
The convo went roughly like this: “Amy, you are a kapha, right? You build muscle easy, don’t lose weight so easy. You are bulky. You are kapha. Certain poses will be tough for you. Certain poses will be tough for your body even if you don’t eat and starve yourself. But why do that? You have a choice. You can judge yourself on the ability to do poses that your body just won’t do, and you can judge your practice based on that. And then you probably should just quit practicing. But if you are willing to accept your body is shaped how it is shaped, and work your practice in your body, you will be a lot happier.”
Every single person in our 15-person session heard that. Yep. Read that again. Tim basically said I was chubby, and I’ll probably always be on the chubby lines, and I can either accept that or not. And you know what?
He is right.
Binding Mari D is not what yoga is about. No one cares if your belly makes it hard for you to bind it. Seriously. Not one of the teachers at the Shala care. Modify it and move on, if you move on. Stay and work it, if you work it. Bodies change. Weight fluctuates. There is stress, there is food, there is bloat, there is hormones, there is medical side effects. THERE IS LIFE TO BE LIVED.
There is so much garbage to get wrapped up in and a little tummy pudge or a little extra padding here or there is NOT worth getting worked up over. Practice is not about what pose you bind, how deep you bend, how prettily you balance. There is this belief that you must look a certain way to be an ashtangi. Rubbish. Rubbish, I say.
Play a little game with me. All ashtangis are ___________. No word properly fits here. Unless you say all ashtangis are ashtangis. Which is just bad grammar. If you don’t believe me, try it. Try different words, then think of all the individual ashtangis you know. They run the gambit – short, tall; thin, heavy; young, aged; nice, mean; patient, impatient; Thoughtful, selfish. Any antonym works here!
Every single one of you that I have seen practice have beautiful practices. Because they are yours, uniquely and specially yours. It is our uniqueness that makes the practice so accessible, so beautiful, so practical.
So, if you are feeling uncomfortable about coming to Mysore with some extra “baggage”, please reconsider. Don’t just say I’ll come back when I get skinny, when I lose 10 pounds, when I fit into my Lulu pants again. Just come as you are. Your practice will meet you where you are. And so will we.
Much love.
I can’t wait to see you on your mat.
—-Amy